فصل 94

emilia

What was I going to do? Should I run? My panic seemed to increase the pain and cramping below my waist.

“Don’t worry,” insisted Joana. “I’ll think of something.”

I hated the ship. It was steel, lifeless, and hollow inside. I would rather be in a small wooden boat carved from an old tree, or even a floating nutshell. I detested steel birds and boats. These sterile boats were not made to appreciate the sea. Boats of steel were boats of war. Part of me hoped they would send me away, tell me that I didn’t belong, that I should run back to the forest and the birds.

Joana said the Wilhelm Gustloff was a KdF ship. I knew what that meant. August had told me.

KdF—Kraft durch Freude. “Strength Through Joy.”

KdF was a national German organization that was supposed to make leisure activities available to the masses, regardless of social class. Hitler said KdF brought opportunity for everyone, all were equal. But how could all be equal if some were favored?

Like Hitler, August’s mother believed in a master race. I was Polish, so in her opinion, I was not part of it. Somewhere behind the locked door in my mind, I heard the echo of Erna Kleist’s stringent voice: Not that one. This one is prettier.

The Wilhelm Gustloff was pregnant with lost souls conceived of war. They would crowd into her belly and she would give birth to their freedom. But did anyone realize? The ship was christened for a man, Wilhelm Gustloff. My father had told me about him. He had been the leader of the Nazi Party in Switzerland.

He was murdered. The ship was born of death.