فصل 74

joana

We left the movie house at dawn and walked to the port. The energy in the harbor had escalated to a frenzy.

Refugees hauled possessions however they could. Eva dodged a man on a bicycle and pointed across the road. “Is that a dining table?” A tired horse dragged an inverted table loaded and strapped with belongings. “Talk about a last supper. Sorry,” said Eva.

A few hundred yards away sat Oxh?ft station. Eva threaded through the crowd, collecting information.

“They say wounded soldiers will be brought via train if the railways are still operating. Several claim the Russians have already bombed the entire track.”

Rumors spread like infection. Some said Berlin didn’t care about the Germans in East Prussia. Others said boys as young as twelve were being conscripted, carrying guns taller than they were.

“Why are you so nervous?” said Eva. “You know you’re getting on a boat. You told me you’ve got a letter.”

“Shh.” I looked behind me to see if anyone was near. “I don’t want the others to know.”

“Why the secrecy?” whispered Eva.

“I don’t want them to think I’ll have preferential treatment or opportunity.”

“It’s a letter from the doctor in Insterburg saying you’re good at dealing with blood and guts, Joana. I’m sorry, but I don’t call that an opportunity,” she said.

“The whole thing’s unfair, Eva. You know that. Hitler allowed me into Germany. He thinks some Baltic people are ‘Germanizable.’ But for every person like me that Hitler brought in, he pushed some poor soul, like Emilia, out.”

Eva shrugged. “Life’s not fair. You’re lucky.”

I didn’t feel lucky. I felt guilty.

“Do you think you have time to be moral?” snapped Eva. “The Russians are right around the corner. If you wait, they’ll be under your skirt and you’ll be dead. Sorry, but don’t waste your time with some goodwill gesture for a lost Polish kid. Get in line and get on a boat. It’s been nice to trek with everyone, but now we’re here. I don’t need a group. I need my belongings and I need a ship.”

I saw a young sailor digging through a pile of luggage.

“Excuse me,” I said.

The sailor stood upright quickly, trying to conceal a crystal butterfly behind his back.

“Good morning, ladies. Alfred Frick, at your service.”